• 21st February
    2012
  • 21

Wedding Season

robhoffman:

I can’t remember when it was exactly, either yesterday or the day before, but I realized that 26 is old. Therefore, due to my unfortunate association with people who were born before this date in 1986, I am, indeed, old.

I mean, there you go. I can’t even really recall what I did 24 hours ago without some serious contemplation, so yeah. I’m getting older and dumber and less healthy, etc. 

And please, for your own sake, don’t tell me 26 is the new 21. That’s an idiotic statement, and it doesn’t make sense for any age you apply it to. At it’s core, that cliché pick-me-up line is simply a way for dudes in their 60s to avoid having to look back on their life with the realization that their death is imminent, and for divorcées to justify the fact that they’re railing an 18 year old college dude.

I think I was probably drinking when I thought about how old and shitty I’m getting. Yeah, that’s it. I was having a beer with some friends and we were sitting around talking about the weddings we have coming up, and how crazy it seems that there are people we know getting married to actual other people.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m really, really happy for them. But instinctively when someone brings up the fact that I have to fly across the country 3 goddamned times this summer, mostly out of annoyance at how much that’s going to cost me, I’ll react with a shake of my head and the following rant:

“What the hell are they thinking? They’re 26. They’re in their sexual prime! Who would want to get married that young? They should get a life, like me, and go out and fuck random people and drink like an asshole and be exactly like an asshole and totally not give a fuck, nonetheless go out and sign some stupid court document saying they’re fucked for the rest of their lives, and that the end starts NOW. AT 26!”

That whole spiel is bullshit, by the way, and two days ago was when I realized it. They have more of a life than I do, even if it’s only a life they have to share between themselves. And why should they share it with anyone else? 

It just kind of crept into my mind at that point that I need to start growing up a little faster instead of growing up a little slower. 

I mean, I don’t go out and meet new people. In fact, I hate new people. If you told me to go out and meet five new people right now, I’d tell you to go fuck yourself. 

Couple that with the overwhelming feeling that none of the people I sleep with actually give a shit about me, and if they do, I usually find some petty reason not to give a shit about them, and you’ve got my social life. 

Either I’m going out to spend time talking the same shit with the same set of friends, and maybe pick up a casual partner, or I’m at home with my dog. Who I love DEARLY, but still. She’s only got about 12 years left, and that’s supposing I don’t fuck it up and let her die somehow. I had a nightmare that I was walking her through a huge wheat field when a gigantic rubber workout ball came out of nowhere and as it collided with her, she exploded into a burst of white fluff, I’m assuming because of static electricity, but then again, the whole thing didn’t make much sense to begin with so who knows what powers that workout ball possessed. 

So that’s me, now, at 26. 

Jealous, jaded, and scared of growing up. 

I need to remember to give people a chance. I need to remember to try to stop rushing things for immediate satisfaction if taking a breath, and taking it slow can lead to something longer and better. I need to stop thinking I’m so fucking great that something is going to fall into my lap without me even making an effort to improve myself.

I need to remember to look around a little more.

This year I’m 26, and next year I’ll be 27, and the year after that, I’ll be 28.

There’s no changing that. 

And for the record, I don’t want to get married. That’d be fucking silly.

Just replace 26 with 24. I need to stop having so many friends getting engaged.

  1. established96 reblogged this from robhoffman
  2. reachingmytomorrow reblogged this from robhoffman
  3. ramblerambl reblogged this from robhoffman and added:
    many friends getting engaged.
  4. mysecretsnlies reblogged this from jennaa123
  5. rememberedwell reblogged this from robhoffman
  6. maryhbogart reblogged this from robhoffman
  7. d0nt-let-th0se-petals-fall reblogged this from robhoffman
  8. em-pink reblogged this from robhoffman
  9. screwyouethan said: Life goes on. LIVE it while you still can.
  10. the-tankisclean reblogged this from robhoffman and added:
    people! Woohoo for lacking
  11. thenightsanddaysflyby reblogged this from robhoffman
  12. cigarettesandchocolatemilkdotcom said: Thanks for making 26 feel like the new 40.
  13. jennaa123 reblogged this from robhoffman
  14. dannigi reblogged this from robhoffman
  15. icametoshutthisthingdown reblogged this from robhoffman
  16. forgetabouttheworldtonight reblogged this from robhoffman
  17. ambersparty said: I feel pretty much the exact same way you do, Hoffman, minus the sleeping with random people and weddings, since I’m 17. I have so much to decide, college, careers, all of this stuff that I never thought would get here. At least you have that done(:
  18. taketimeandappreciate reblogged this from robhoffman